Live Grandly, Wholeheartedly

I’m good woman, truly, you may ask anyone who know me well to get that answer. But sometimes, sometimes when mood strikes me, I can be a really really bad. Only bad, tho, not evil of course. If you don’t know me well, you wouldn’t know the extension of my goodness because I have so many faces that you couldn’t read my real face or you would feel like you don’t know me at all. Of course that’s happen as a vice versa for me. People are hard to understand others, especially when you don’t know those others well. And in my confession, me is kinda hard to understand. I’m an unusual woman with complicated mind. You wouldn’t understand me until you know me better and usually that take times. Sometimes I take myself having a twisted mind that work so un-normally in this world. Maybe it’s just the way I am, in some imperfect way, but I do love being myself.

I believe that each of us is protagonist in our story. There’s no such right or wrong and black and white case. Life is full of grey area anyway. It’s our life, do whatever we like. It’s not that I always acting irresponsibly in my life. All my life, I always live to follow the path others make for me and that was exhausting. I always obey other’s rules, until one day I realize that this is my life, not theirs. The main question is ‘Where is my own happiness?’ Following other’s rules just get me nowhere, so I quit and make my own way towards happiness. Of course there’s limitation for living my life the way I want it. My limitation is that I always prevent myself from hurting others as much as I can, as long as my inner soul still accepting it then it’s okay. I don’t know the calculation of this right or wrong. I just know there’s a limitation for that, but that’s God’s right to decide. I believe in tit for tat, karma in everything you've done, and that’s enough to prevent me from doing any harm to other.

Because of that, I believe that all is fair in love, but not in war because I hate conflict no matter how small it is. Yes, all is fair in love. Human, although it’s a noun, it isn’t a thing. Human are human and we can make solid rules for anything connected with human feeling, such as love. It does takes two to tango. If both willing, it’ll make a great dance together. If one is not willing, it won’t be dance at all. Destiny involving time and distance. If the time and the distance is right, then you’re going to meet each other. If it isn’t destined, then no matter how hard you try it, you won’t get a chance.

In my dramatic world, I do what I like and the hell with others. Life is too short to wait, and anyway, we live this life just once in lifetime. This very moment is just once, you won’t experience it again later. That’s why I do cherish this very moment, no matter how crazy or how sad this moment is. Falling down is okay, but don’t forget to get up. As a protagonist, I try hard not to waste any chance. Life teach me hard way but I’m grateful for that because miseries and hurts and disappointments make me remember that I’m still human and those feelings only make me enjoy all happiness and graces and miracles more and more.



I do love to live grandly, because I don’t know what tomorrow will serve for me. I know it seems like reckless way of live, but the fact is, reckless are fun. Life is one strange thing. I can laugh this very moment and cry in a swift of moment later. Sometimes coincidences are just coincidences, nothing more, but I choose what I want to believe. That way, I have myself to blame when anything happen unexpectedly later. I don’t holds on my feeling about tomorrow because I don’t know what will happen later. Never really care about what others think about me and never really care to judge others too. Life is too short to waste and I don’t have space for regret.

I’m more colorful than a rainbow, full of sparks. Very alive when I’m happy. Very weepy when I’m sad. Very gloomy when I’m down. Very charming when I want to. Very anti-social when I need to. Very silly when I have a crush. Very stupid when I’m in love. Very miserable when I'm in hatred. Every actions always lead by emotions. I always run with full load of emotions. Sometimes I am a good woman, but sometimes I am a bitch. I don’t care, I have full treasure chess of disguise. I can be whoever I want.

My existence in this world is to live wholeheartedly, to laugh wholeheartedly, and to love wholeheartedly. Live grandly, because we only have one life and we’re the protagonist in our life.



Sincerely yours :)